I'm Too Lazy!
by VN2Lover
Summary: No, this isn't about Shikamaru.  Maybe in the later chapters.  This story is just full of oneshots about Hinata pairings or oneshots about random crap. Ch. 6:  Naruto's Birthday Gift! Yes, I know I'm late. :'
1. Sasuke's Birthday 1

**A/N: Oh god!!! I hope I submitted this in time!!! It's dedicated to Sasuke because July 23rd is his birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASUKE!!!! R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Directions: Step one. Are you ready? It's the most crucial. Now that you know how important this is, it's now time to tell you the most important step known as step one. Get a piece of paper and a writing utensil. Then label the paper with number 1 through 57. Below these directions are what you need to fill after the numbers. I'll tell you what to do after you finish the list okay?**

**1. a sound**

**2. an adjective**

**3. past tense verb**

**4. an emotion**

**5. any word or words you want, it can even be a catchphrase**

**6. an adjective**

**7. an adjective**

**8. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**9. a song**

**10. past tense verb**

**11. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**12. a song**

**13. a noun**

**14. an adjective**

**15. an adjective**

**16. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**17. a song**

**18. past tense verb**

**19. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**20. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**21. a duet song**

**22. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**23. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**24. verb**

**25. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**26. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**27. past tense verb**

**28. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**29. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**30. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**31. a game**

**32. a game**

**33. a plural noun**

**34. a plural noun**

**35. noun**

**36. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**37. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**38. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**39. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**40. a noun**

**41. a noun**

**42. a noun**

**43. a plural noun**

**44. a noun**

**45. a noun**

**46. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**47. a verb with an "ing" in the end**

**48. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**49. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**50. a verb with "ing" in the end**

**51. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**52. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**53. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**54. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**55. a Naruto character's name in either the Rookie Nine, Gaara's Team, Lee's Team, or their senseis**

**56. a verb with "ing" in the end**

**57. an adjective**

**A/N: Okay, after you finish this list, go on to the next chapter where you'll put those words to good use. Oh, and don't forget, read and review please!!!!!**


	2. Sasuke's Birthday 2

**A/N: I hoped you finished chapter one before coming here. If you didn't then you're a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. But if you did complete chapter one, then good for you! Use your list on this story! Hope you enjoy! R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Warning: This chapter contains probable OOCness, bad grammar, and may not make sense.**

**SASUKE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY (I wasn't invited. TT.TT)**

(1)

(1)

Were the sounds Sasuke was making as he was training privately with his (2) sensei, Kakashi. "Okay, that's enough for today." Kakashi said as Sasuke kept on training. "It's not wise to overwork yourself. By the way, your 13th birthday is coming soon correct?" Kakashi asked. "What's it to you?" Sasuke asked. Sasuke then (3) his eyes in (4). "You better NOT be doing what I think you're doing." Sasuke replied as Kakashi nodded his head with a small grin.

**SCENE CHANGE**

"Okay, so who should we invite?" Kakashi asked as he held a clipboard and a _ball-point_ pen. Extra fine sharp. Yep, choosing your pens is important. The pen is mightier than the sword. I'm going to continue on with this story instead of blabbing on about pens. "(5)." Sasuke said. "Okkkkaaaayyyy….well, a good start would probably have your teammates invited." Kakashi said as he jotted 'Sakura', 'Naruto', and 'Kakashi, the mega sexy sensei that all the girls love' to the list. "No, Sakura's (6) and the dobe is (7)." Sasuke objected.

"Anyway, why not put the Rookie Nine, Gai's team, Gaara's team, and their senseis. How does that sound?" Kakashi asked as he jotted the names of the teams listed above. "Che. Whatever." Sasuke said. "Good, next is to buy the invitations, send them out, buy the decorations, music, and of course, food, but don't worry about that. I'll take care of it." Kakashi said. "Let me guess, it's coming out of _my_ money?" Sasuke stated than asked.

"Of course it is. Do you honestly expect me to buy _all _that for _your_ birthday party?" Kakashi asked as if he was stating the obvious. "Then why even throw me a birthday party in the first place?" Sasuke asked. "Sasuke. Sasuke. You're birthday is that special only-comes-once-a-year moment. It's important to share it with the people you love." "Let me guess, you're hoping some of us will get drunk and do embarrassing things so you could use it as blackmail." "No! No! What _ever_ gave you that idea?" Kakashi defended himself as Sasuke rolled his eyes at his sensei's obvious lying.

**SASUKE'S PARTY**

"Glad you all could make it." Kakashi greeted as everyone came in and greeted Sasuke a happy birthday. "Before we begin, why not some party games like say, karaoke?" Kakashi suggested as he led the way to a room with a small stage, a karaoke machine, and a mystery machine." "Hey Kakashi-sensei, what's with the machine?" Naruto asked. "Hm? Oh, that is used to randomly choose one or two people and a song. So let's begin shall we?" Kakashi asked as he pressed the machine's button. The machine then exited a piece of paper from its slot. "Okay, first up is (8) and the song (8) is singing is (9)."

(8) got up the stage and sang (9). After (8) was finished, the audience (10) (8) as (8) got off the stage. "Okay, next is (11) with the song, (12)." Kakashi said as the audience welcomed (11) with thunderous (13). After (11) sang, (11)'s team was (14) since (11) sang so (15). "The next person to sing is (16)! (16) will be singing (17). Kakashi said as (16) began to sing. After (16) was done, the audience (18) (16)'s singing. After a few songs, Kakashi finally got down to the final people to sing. "Okay, the last song should be a duet so both (19) and (20), get up here and sing (21)." Kakashi said.

After (19) and (20) sang, Kakashi led the people to another room with nothing but a bed, a window, and a closet. "Next up: SPIN THE BOTTLE! Oh, and if it lands on the same gender, you still have to kiss the person." Kakashi explained as everyone complained while Kakashi had a palm sized video camera behind his back. (22) spinned the bottle first as it landed on (23). After they kissed, they started to (24). It was (25)'s turn to spin and the bottle landed on (26). After their kiss, they both realized that they actually (27) the kiss. After many spins and blackmail for Kakashi who had his fair share of kisses with (28), (29), and (30).

After the games, (31) and (32) everyone began to get hungry. So they sat down and ate (33) and (34) as they drank some (35). For dessert, was of course, cake. So everyone who actually was willing to sing sang Sasuke the birthday song:

Everyone: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!

(36): You belong in a zoo!

Everyone: Happy birthday dear (37): NOT! Sasuke!

(38): Because you look like a ducky!

(39): And you smell like one too!

Everyone: Happy birthday to you!!!!!

And of course, after cake are presents. Naruto and Kiba decided to buy Sasuke's present together because they were cheapskates and got Sasuke a (40). Sakura's present for Sasuke was a (41) which was exactly what Ino gave Sasuke so it caused a glaring contest. The rest of Team 8 pitched in and got Sasuke a (42). Gai and Lee decided to give Sasuke (43). Tenten gave Sasuke a (44) for his birthday. Team 10 decided to give Sasuke a (45). Kakashi, Gaara's team, and Neji were the only ones who didn't give Sasuke a present because, either they hated him or they were cheapskates or maybe it was both.

So everyone hanged out with their friends or danced for the rest of the party. (46) was (47) with (48). (49) was (50) with (51). They even had a dance contest. (52) was proclaimed winner. (53), (54), and (55) were (56) with each other. After the party, everyone went except for Sasuke and Kakashi since it was Sasuke's house. "So, what did you think of your party?" Kakashi asked as Sasuke replayed the events in his head. "It was (57)." Sasuke replied as Kakashi left in a puff of smoke. Sasuke looked around at the huge mess in his house. "Curse him." Sasuke whispered icily to no one in particular as he started to clean up.

**A/N: Hope the words you chose made this story hilarious and that you liked it! R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!**


	3. Sasuke's Birthday 3

**A/N: Okay!!! ChangeoFHeArt: I did the Sasuke Birthday Mad Lib on my sister kRaZy and here are the results!!! Don't worry, she didn't know what I'm typed so she didn't have a clue what she putted for the blanks in the sentences.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Warning: It's really really weird. And there's bad grammar.**

**SASUKE'S BIRTHDAY ( STILL WASN'T INVITED TT.TT)**

"pbbt" **(A/N: If you don't know what this sound is, it's a farting kind of sound.)**

"pbbt"

Were the sounds Sasuke was making as he was training privately with his freakishly big boned sensei, Kakashi. "Okay, that's enough for today." Kakashi said as Sasuke kept on training. "It's not wise to overwork yourself. By the way, your 13th birthday is coming soon correct?" Kakashi asked. "What's it to you?" Sasuke asked. Sasuke then cried his eyes in happiness. "You better NOT be doing what I think you're doing." Sasuke replied as Kakashi nodded his head with a small grin.

**SCENE CHANGE**

"Okay, so who should we invite?" Kakashi asked as he held a clipboard and a _ball-point_ pen. Extra fine sharp. Yep, choosing your pens is important. The pen is mightier than the sword. I'm going to continue on with this story instead of blabbing on about pens. "Silent but deadly." Sasuke said. "Okkkkaaaayyyy….well, a good start would probably have your teammates invited." Kakashi said as he jotted 'Sakura', 'Naruto', and 'Kakashi, the mega sexy sensei that all the girls love' to the list. "No, Sakura's pimple-faced and the dobe is fugly." Sasuke objected.

"Anyway, why not put the Rookie Nine, Gai's team, Gaara's team, and their senseis. How does that sound?" Kakashi asked as he jotted the names of the teams listed above. "Che. Whatever." Sasuke said. "Good, next is to buy the invitations, send them out, buy the decorations, music, and of course, food, but don't worry about that. I'll take care of it." Kakashi said. "Let me guess, it's coming out of _my_ money?" Sasuke stated than asked.

"Of course it is. Do you honestly expect me to buy _all _that for _your_ birthday party?" Kakashi asked as if he was stating the obvious. "Then why even throw me a birthday party in the first place?" Sasuke asked. "Sasuke. Sasuke. You're birthday is that special only-comes-once-a-year moment. It's important to share it with the people you love." "Let me guess, you're hoping some of us will get drunk and do embarrassing things so you could use it as blackmail." "No! No! What _ever_ gave you that idea?" Kakashi defended himself as Sasuke rolled his eyes at his sensei's obvious lying.

**SASUKE'S PARTY**

"Glad you all could make it." Kakashi greeted as everyone came in and greeted Sasuke a happy birthday. "Before we begin, why not some party games like say, karaoke?" Kakashi suggested as he led the way to a room with a small stage, a karaoke machine, and a mystery machine." "Hey Kakashi-sensei, what's with the machine?" Naruto asked. "Hm? Oh, that is used to randomly choose one or two people and a song. So let's begin shall we?" Kakashi asked as he pressed the machine's button. The machine then exited a piece of paper from its slot. "Okay, first up is Hinata and the song Hinata is singing is 'Jingle Bells'."

Hinata got up the stage and sang 'Jingle Bells'. After Hinata was finished, the audience swam Hinata as Hinata got off the stage. "Okay, next is Kiba with the song, 'Cyclone' by Baby Bash." Kakashi said as the audience welcomed Kiba with thunderous flowers. After Kiba sang, Kiba's team was smelly since Kiba sang so scary. "The next person to sing is Lee! Lee will be singing 'The Chicken Dance'. Kakashi said as Lee began to sing. After Lee was done, the audience smiled Lee's singing. After a few songs, Kakashi finally got down to the final people to sing. "Okay, the last song should be a duet so both Kakashi and Gai, get up here and sing 'Forever' by NB Ridaz." Kakashi said.

After Kakashi and Gai sang, Kakashi led the people to another room with nothing but a bed, a window, and a closet. "Next up: SPIN THE BOTTLE! Oh, and if it lands on the same gender, you still have to kiss the person." Kakashi explained as everyone complained while Kakashi had a palm sized video camera behind his back. Naruto spinned the bottle first as it landed on Gaara. After they kissed, they started to kiss. It was Shino's turn to spin and the bottle landed on Neji. After their kiss, they both realized that they actually hugged the kiss. After many spins and blackmail for Kakashi who had his fair share of kisses with Neji, Hinata, and Sasuke.

After the games, Twister and Strip Poker, everyone began to get hungry. So they sat down and ate cows and peanuts as they drank some baby. For dessert, was of course, cake. So everyone who actually was willing to sing sang Sasuke the birthday song:

Everyone: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!

Gaara: You belong in a zoo!

Everyone: Happy birthday dear (Shikamaru: NOT!) Sasuke!

Chouji: Because you look like a ducky!

Temari: And you smell like one too!

Everyone: Happy birthday to you!!!!!

And of course, after cake are presents. Naruto and Kiba decided to buy Sasuke's present together because they were cheapskates and got Sasuke a fish. Sakura's present for Sasuke was chopsticks which was exactly what Ino gave Sasuke so it caused a glaring contest. The rest of Team 8 pitched in and got Sasuke a hair. Gai and Lee decided to give Sasuke pimples. Tenten gave Sasuke a rattle for his birthday. Team 10 decided to give Sasuke a jacket. Kakashi, Gaara's team, and Neji were the only ones who didn't give Sasuke a present because, either they hated him or they were cheapskates or maybe it was both.

So everyone hanged out with their friends or danced for the rest of the party. Asuma was farting with Tenten. Sakura was dying with Hinata. They even had a dance contest. Sasuke was proclaimed winner. Kiba, Temari, and Shino were laughing with each other. After the party, everyone went except for Sasuke and Kakashi since it was Sasuke's house. "So, what did you think of your party?" Kakashi asked as Sasuke replayed the events in his head. "It was beautiful." Sasuke replied as Kakashi left in a puff of smoke. Sasuke looked around at the huge mess in his house. "Curse him." Sasuke whispered icily to no one in particular as he started to clean up.

**A/N: OMG!!! Before I forget, you can send me your list of words you chosen for your first time for the Sasuke Birthday Mad Lib. Make sure you private message me instead so no spoilers and your words could appear in the future chapter of the Sasuke Birthday Mad Lib so other people can see what your mind is like!!!! Don't forget to R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!**


	4. ParentTeacher Conferences!

**A/N: I thought that I seriously needed to update this story. So I got inspired to do a Parent-Teacher Conference. The Rookie Nine's parents talk to Iruka. Poor Iruka.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask.**

**Warning: MAJOR OOCness, contents you might find horrifying, and bad grammar.**

**PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES! DUN DUN DDDDDUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!**

"Good morning class." Iruka said to his class full of eight-year-olds. "Hello Iruka-sensei." The class greeted in unison at their teacher. "Since it's been a whole month already, I think it would be best to inform your parents or guardians about your progress in my class. Don't forget, this meeting is mandatory." Iruka explained as the class groaned. "Don't worry background characters, only important characters only."

"Yay!" cheered the background characters. "BOO!" shouted the important characters as they stuck their thumbs down. "Anyways, meetings are in 5 seconds." Iruka said. "Huh? But it'll take awhile for our parents to get here." explained Kiba. "Elementary my dear Kiba, that's the beauty of anime. Time has no meaning. I hope you guys are taking notes. You all are going to have a quiz on that: Background characters included." Iruka said. "BOO!" the whole class shouted.

**A FEW SECONDS LATER...**

"Mr. and Mrs. Haruno, you two and your daughter may come in!" Iruka shouted in his desk as Sakura came in. "Sakura? Where's your parents?" Iruka asked. "Mr. Kishimoto never gave me any." Sakura explained. "Well this meeting is madantory so ask Mr. Kishimoto for some parents and if he won't give any, then start begging." Iruka said as Sakura left.

"Okay, Naruto, it's your turn!" Iruka shouted to see Naruto come by himself also. "Naruto? Where is your parents? And don't give me any of the 'Mr. Kishimoto-didn't-give-me-any-parents' crap. I saw your parents have at least a little screentime. "I tried calling my dad but he won't answer." Naruto said.

**FLASHBACK**

_Rrrriiinnnggg...rrrrrrrrriiiiiinnnnnnnggggggg..."Come on dad, pick up, this thing's important -ttebayo..." Naruto whispered as he waited for someone to pick up._

**AT THE AKATSUKI LAIR**

_Rrrriiiinnnnnggggg...rrrrrrrrriiiiiinnnnngggggggg!!! "Go get it, Hidan." Itachi said lazily as the Akatsuki except the leader were watching 'The Mask'. "Kisame, go get it." Hidan ordered Kisame lazily. _

_"Zetsu, go get it." Rrriiiiiiinnnnnngggg!_

_"Deidara, go get it." Rrrrrrriiiinnnnnngggg!_

_"Sasori, go get it, un." Rrriiiinnnnggg!!!_

_"Kakuzu, go get it." Rrrrrriiiiinnnnnggg!!!_

_"Will you pay me?" "No." "Itachi, go get it." "The ringing already stopped." "Hallejuah!" "Hello. Did the phone ring?" The leader asked as he came into the room. "No." the Akatsuki replied._

**END FLASHBACK**

"Okay then, I want you to go get your parent then." Iruka said as Naruto left. _'Honestly, parents these days. No time with their kids at all.'_ "Okay! Ino, you're next!" Iruka shouted as Ino and her father came in. _'Finally, a parent who actually showed!'_ "Mr. Yamanka, so nice of you to come." Iruka greeted. "I wouldn't miss my precious daughter's meeting for the world." Inochi said as he hugged Ino. "Oh daddy!" Ino replied. "You're my little girl! Yes you are! You're the most prettiest and perfect little girl a father could ever have!" Inochi cooed at his daugher.

"And you're the best bestest (I know that's not a word) BEST father a daugher could ever have!" Ino exclaimed right back at her father. "FATHER-DAUGHER HUG!" Ino and Inoichi exclaimed as they gave each other a big hug. "(clears throat) Ah-hem. Uh yes, anyway, onto the meeting. Ino is doing just fine. Her aim is quite accurate, she's great with floral-"As always, just perfect!" Inoichi interuppted. "but she's talks way too-"Speaking of talking! Did you know her very first word was, 'dada'? After her first word, she kept on saying it over and over! You couldn't _describe_ how flattered and astonished I was!" Inoichi interrupted, again.

"Um, yes, that _is_ very nice Mr. Yamanaka, but Ino has been talking too much in cl-" "Oh! I also brought baby pictures! Can you tell me this _isn't_ THE most beautifulest baby in the whole wide world!!" Inoichi exclaimed. "Yes, Mr. Yamanaka but the point of this meeting to talk about how your daughter is doing in _school_." Iruka said but Inoichi only heard, 'talk about daughter'.

"And here's a picture of Ino when she started to crawl, here's a picture of Ino on her first day, here's Ino's first drawing, and-" "You know what? You're daughter is doing absolutely excellent in my class. We don't need this meeting so bye!" Iruka said as he shoved Ino and Inoichi out the door. "Are you sure? Because I have a video tape of Ino's first ballet recital." Inoichi said as he grabbed out a video tape. "Yes! Now bye!" Iruka said as he slammed the door.

"(Sigh) That was the worst conference I ever had. **(A/N: They're about to get worse. )** Okay, breath in, breath out, next student!" Iruka yelled out. "So troublesome." Shikamaru said as he came in with his parent. "Ah, Mr. Nara. Please have a seat." Iruka said as he motioned for Shikamaru and his dad to sit. "Okay, your son, Shikamaru, I believe is full of potential. Only problem is is that your son always seems to sleep on my lessons, lectures, tests, and during class. I think the best thing just for now is to encourage your son to stay awake and alert in my class." Iruka finished.

(Snore) (Snore) Iruka looked up to see Shikamaru and his dad, sleeping. **(A/N: You know what they say, like father, like son.)** "Mr. Nara? Mr. Nara. MR. NARA!" Iruka shouted at the top of his lungs. "Hm? Sorry, I just dozed off for a bit there. You were saying?" "I was saying how much your son could achieve if he actually had the will to-Hey! WAKE UP!" Iruka yelled to the sleeping Naras. "I see. Continue." Shikaku encouraged from his doze.

"Mr. Nara, I have the feeling you want to get this over with." Iruka accused. "Duh." "Very well. I want you to encourage your son to stay awake. That is all." Iruka finished as Shikamaru and Shikaku went out the door. "See? I told you sleeping would get the meeting over with." "So are we suppose to high-five or something?" "Nah, too troublesome. Let's play Shogi all day and tell mom that we've been in the meeting."

"Mr. Akimichi, you and your son may proceed into my classroom." Iruka voiced out the door as Choji and his dad came in. "Mr. Akimichi and Choji, you may have a seat." "I would like to discuss your son. I'm happy to be teaching him and have him in my class. I'm sure he can achieve a lot and will be an excellent shinobi and maybe someday defeat a minion of a Sannin for a fellow shinobi but he always seem to bring food into my class." Iruka explained to Choji and his dad as they were eating BBQ ribs on Iruka's desk.

"So?" Chouza asked. "I do not allow food in my classroom." Iruka explained as Chouza dropped his rib in shock. "WHAT??!!! YOU MONSTER!" Chouza shouted as he grew to his enormous size, destroying the school roof. "However,I'llgiveyoursonexclusiverightstoeatinmyclassroom!" Iruka shouted quickly as Chouza dropped back to his normal size. "Bye Iruka-sensei!" Chouji called out as his dad and him left the classroom.

"N-n-next!" Iruka stammered as Hinata and Hiashi came in the classroom. "Wait, do you have the power to grow to an enormous size?" "No." "Okay, then, you may proceed." Iruka said as Hiashi and Hinata sat down. "Okay, how is my idiotic daughter doing in school?"

"Actually Mr. Hyuuga, your daughter does have problems in fighting spars, accuracy, and chakra control. I believe the problem is that Hinata's doesn't have enough confidence. However, I can't find where this negativity is coming from since everyone is kind to her."

"I don't believe it. Your YOUNGER sister could easily pass all of these yet you can't pass ONE?!" Hiashi said to her daughter. "I-i'm s-s-so s-s-s-sorry f-f-father. I-I-I'll t-try h-h-harder n-" "See? There you go yapping your mouth off! No wonder you're failing. Probably because you're too busy talking."

"Actually, Mr. Hyuuga, your daughter is the most obedient and quietest girl I've had in my classroom." "That's the problem with girls. They talk for hours and hours and hours and hours when all people want them to be quiet for one second! Now if you were actually more disiplined and quiet like me then you wouldn't have this problem of talking so much. I mean really-

**ONE HOUR LATER..**

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah- "Mr. Hyuuga!Ahem,um,conversation'soverso_leave_." Iruka said quickly as he shoved Hiashi and Hinata out the door. "And Hinata, I am _so _sorry_." _"Okay, just three more, I can make it." Iruka said as he sat at his desk and took deep breaths.

"Okay Sasuke! You may come in!" Iruka said as he tried to put on a smile, despite all the hell he's been through. The door opened and Iruka screamed in horror. "SASUKE! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU BRING?!" Iruka screamed as Sasuke sat two corpses down on the two chairs infront of Iruka's desk.

"What? Oh these guys, they're my parents." Sasuke explained as he took the third seat. "Well, go ahead, my parents and I aren't getting any younger." "IseenoproblemwithyoursonMr.andMrs.Uchiha!Youmaygo!" Iruka said as Sasuke left. "SASUKE!" "What?" "Your p-p-parents." Iruka stuttered.

"Oh." Sasuke said as he grabbed his parents' heads through their eye sockets and pulled only to have the skulls pulled off the skeletons. "That sucks." Sasuke muttered as Iruka gaped at the scene. Sasuke then picked the skeletons as he dragged them out of the classroom.

"I'm here for my son's meeting!" Tsume shouted as she kicked down the door. "So am I." Shibi said as he went through the hole where the door used to be. "I've had a long day so I'll have to do both your sons' meeting. Is that alright?" "Sure!" Tsume shouted as Shibi gave a nodd. "COME ON KIBA!! YOU'RE SHARING YOUR MEETING WITH SHIBI'S SON!" Tsume shouted as Kiba and Shino came in.

"So your mom and your dad couldn't make it Kiba and Shino?" Iruka asked. "Oh no, they're here. HEY DAD! COME HERE!" Kiba shouted. "Mother, you too." Shino said. Iruka looked upon the door to see a Siberian (sp?) Huskee and a small kikkei (sp?) insect. "Um, that's a dog and bug."

"Yeah, I really love dogs." "And I like bugs." Tsume and Shibi said as Iruka started to foam at his mouth. "You see, the love started when I placed on my eyes on Simon (The Siberian Huskee) and then I-" "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT! JUST GET THE F--K OUT!!!" Iruka screamed as Kiba, Shino, and their parents went out the hole made by Tsume.

"Hey mom, what does f--k mean?" Kiba asked. "Hey Iruka-sensei! I got my parent and we're here for the meeting. My dad couldn't wait to meet you!" Naruto said as he opened the door. "NNNNNNNNNOOOOOO!!! GET OUT!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER MEETING IN MY LIFE!!!!"

"Is this the type of teacher you're having son? Hmph. I think you should do what I did and leave Konoha. Come on Naruto." The Akatsuki Leader said as he pulled on Naruto's arm. "But I like the ramen here!" Naruto pleaded to his dad for him to stay. "No, Naruto. Come on." The Akatsuki leader said as he tugged on his stubborn son.

"NO!" Naruto shouted as he ran. "I didn't raise you to defy me young man! I'll have the whole Akatsuki track you! You hear me?!"

**AT THE AKATSUKI LAIR...**

"I need you all to track my son to bring him here. He is grounded." the Akatsuki Leader shouted orders to all the Akatsuki members. "What's in it for us?" Kisame asked. "Um, we'll capture some other tailed demons to harness their immense chakra." The Akatsuki Leader offered as a reward. "That's it?" the Akatsuki members asked in unison. "That or I could destroy you all." "We'll take the demons."

**A/N: I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS!** **I hope you enjoyed this. And I admit, I got a few ideas for the conferences and the plot from Omnistrife's video. You should watch it if you're looking for toture humor towards the Akatsuki. He's funny and great at voices. You can hear him clearly. And his artwork is good too for the videos. R&R PLZ PLZ PLZ!**


	5. KIBA'S MOVIE!

**A/N: I hope you actually enjoyed reading this! Remember to read and review please!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own both Naruto or the plot. Yes, I admit it.**

**Warning: OOCness and Kiba abuse. Not Kiba bashing. Just Kiba abuse.**

**NOT A KID NO MORE: THE MOVIE**

_"The female mantis lays 30 to 300 eggs, depending how much she has eaten. Once the offspring has been laid, the female has typically two weeks to live."_ the narrator said in the television as it showed a female mantis. Both Lee and Shino were watching the program since Lee lost the rock-scissor-paper battle to decide which channel they got to watch. "HEY GUYS! Check out what my sister sent me from college!" Kiba shouted as he kicked the door opened to carry in a box.

"Your sister sent you that?" Shino asked as he helped Kiba open the box. "You bet!" Kiba replied as he dug into the box to pull out a picture dictionary. "What...the...f--k?" Kiba said as he dug through the whole box to only pull out a toy helicopter, train set, crayons, and a coloring book. "THESE ARE ALL KID STUFF!! I must've grabbed the wrong box!" Kiba said as Shino read the delivery address. "No. This is correct. Kiba Inuzuka. Spelled your name and address correctly." Shino stated.

"Maybe your answers lie in this card of truth!" Lee said as he handed Kiba a card. _"Dear baby bro, hope you enjoy your new toys! It wasn't easy finding these things at college but there was a toddler store 10 minutes from the college. I miss you all! -Hana"_ "BABY?! I SIXTEEN FRIGGIN' YEARS OLD!" Kiba shouted as he started to jump into the box. "What are you doing?" "Mailing myself so Hana could see how old I've gotten. Lee! Take me to the post office!" Kiba commanded. "Hai Kiba!"

"Wouldn't it be easier for you to take a picture of yourself?" Shino asked. "That's it! I'll make a movie to show Sis how macho, good-looking, cool, and big her bro is!" Kiba said as he jumped out of the box and ran to his house. "Okay Shino! You record and Lee, you can just...stand there!" Kiba commanded as he tossed a video camera to Shino. "This is going to be...THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER!" Kiba said dramatically as he slung his arms around his buds, Shino and Lee.

kkkkkkkkrrrrrrrsssssssshhhhhhh "Okay, I got the camera to work. Kiba? Where are you?" "Over here." Kiba said as Shino moved the camera, showing Kiba leaning on a blood red ferrari.

"Hey sis! This is me, 16 and already have this hot ferrari. Every week or so, I buy me a new one. I already have 16. You're probably wondering where I got the money. I've been taking up a job as a male model. Yeah, I've been working out, already benching 300." Kiba said as he strutted.

"Kiba, your sister is not going to fall for this." "CUT!" Kiba yelled. kkkkkkkkkrrrrrrsssssssssshhhhh "Why'd you ruin the shot?!" "Your sister's not a moron, even if she is related to you. I think you should explain your real life and not some of your fantasies. By the way, how'd you get this ferrari?" Shino asked as Kiba rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"THERE'S MY FERRARI!!!" Gaara screamed as he was running towards Kiba with a metal bat. "RUN!" Kiba screamed as Shino, Lee, and him made a dash away from the bat-wielding and angry Gaara. "You stole his ferrari for your movie?!" "Uh heheheh, that's showbiz?"

kkkkkkkkkkrrrrrrrrsssssssshhhhhh "So here's my high school. Besides the teachers, homework, schoolwork, and food. It's pretty great since I'm the most popular guy in school." Kiba introduced. "K-" "shut it shino" Kiba whispered as Shino rolled his eyes but kept quiet.

"Yeah, top grades, most athletic, and of course my good looks brought me to the top." Kiba said as he came closer to the camera and gave out his best smile. "Hello Sasuke-san!" Lee yelled as he waved at the stoic boy walking down the hall.

"See that nerd? His name's Sasuke. He's the school joke and most unpopularest guy but he thinks he's all that. I have to beat him up or give him swirlies or wedgies just to remind him who's top dog around here." "Uh Kiba, look behind you." Shino told Kiba in a warning tone.

Kiba looked behind him to see Sasuke smirking at him. "Most unpopular guy huh?" Sasuke asked as he cracked his knuckles. -BEEP- "We don't really need to see this violence." Shino said as he stopped recording. "OW! CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE?! OW! I'M SORRY! NOT THERE! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

"HELP!!! LEE! SHINO! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!!" Kiba screamed as he was dangling from the school's flag pole, by his underwear. "Don't worry Kiba-kun! We'll get you down from there!!!" Lee shouted in reassurance as he looked to Shino for a plan. "We're going to need the janitor."

"Okay, so maybe acting like I'm the most popular guy wasn't the best way to make me look cool. But don't worry, I have other tricks up my sleeve." "Uh-oh." Shino sighed as Kiba placed his arms around him and Lee. DING DING

An ice-cream parlor's door rang as Sakura and Ino stepped out into the sunlight with ice cream cones. "Okay, on my signal, you turn off the camera. But until then, you keep on filming." Kiba said as Shino pressed the 'rec' button.

kkkkkkkkkkkkrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssshhhhhhhh "Hey sis! You know how you sent me all that baby stuff. Well, I hope you kept the receipt because your bro turned into a one hundred percent ladies man. See those two girls over there? They're always fighting over me. Watch as I work my charms." Kiba said as he slung his arms around the two girls.

"No need to fight ladies. There's enough Kiba for everyone." Kiba said as he grabbed Sakura and Ino's butts and then started to clap his hands. "KKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIBBBBBBBAAAAAA!!!!!" Sakura and Ino screamed in a demonic tone. They were so mad, the ice cream in their hands melted.

Kiba clapped his hands again but Shino still didn't do anything. CLAP CLAP...CLAP CLAP...CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP "UGH!" Kiba grunted as his throat was being throttled by Sakura and Ino. "Shouldn't we help him?" Lee asked as Sakura and Ino was beating up Kiba.

"Can't. He told me to keep on filming until he gave me the signal but he never told me what the signal was." Shino replied. "YOU GUYS! HELP ME!" Kiba said as he was dangling from a high tree branch by his underwear.

"SHINO! WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP FILMING?! THE CLAPPING WAS THE SIGNAL!" Kiba screamed at Shino as Lee was climbing the tree. "...oops." "Kiba, I don't think that you should try to lie to your sister. I'm pretty sure your sister would be proud of you anyway. Afterall, you're both family." Shino lectured as him, Kiba, and Lee were eating ice cream in the park.

"I don't think Kiba-kun's listening." Lee said as Kiba as gazing dreamily at the girl on the swing set. "(Sigh) It figures." Shino said as he turned his head to the direction Kiba was facing to see Hyuuga Hinata. The girl Kiba has had a crush on since he was 8 years old.

"Roll the camera." Kiba said as he got in front of Shino. "Hey Hana! Remember how you would tease me about me having a crush on Hinata and I would keep on saying that I didn't. Well, truth was, you were right and she's my girlfriend. And look how hot she got." Kiba said as he pointed towards Hinata. Signaling Shino to turn the camera towards her.

-BEEP- "Kiba, didn't the fiasco with Sakura and Ino teach you anything?" "I won't get too close. Just enough to convince Hana. Besides, Hinata's too nice to hurt me." "Yeah, but Neji-san isn't. If he catches you even 10 feet of his cousin, he punches first and asks questions never." Shino said. "He's not even here. We just film a little and hightail it out of there before he even comes. Lee's going to be lookout."

Kiba argued and later got Shino to agree to record. kkkkkkkkrrrrrsssshhhhh "Guess who?" Kiba asked as he covered Hinata's eyes. "(Giggles) Ohayo Kiba-kun." Hinata greeted as Kiba took the other swing beside Hinata. Then he placed his arm around her.

"Um, are you guys trying to make a movie?" Hinata asked as she spotted the camera. "Oh, that's the video I'm going to send to Hana. Why don't you say hi?" "Hi Hana. I hope you're doing great and having fun in college. You're brother is really nice, funny, and charming." Hinata said as she pecked Kiba's cheek. Kiba turned as red as his triangular marks on his cheeks as he gave a big goofy grin to Hinata who smiled back.

"Uh, Kiba-kun? Are you alright?" Hinata asked as Kiba was just frozen in place. "KIBA-KUN! KIBA-KUN! NEJI-SAN IS COMING!" Lee screamed as he tugged on the smiling Kiba but Kiba didn't budge. "Oh great, he's frozen. And here comes Neji now."

"Kiba-kun? Oh Kiba-kun." Hinata repeated as she patted Kiba's cheeks to get a reaction. "**What do you think you're doing with my cousin Inuzuka?**" Only then was Kiba's face was back to normal and he was unfrozen. "Heh, heh, funny story really. Um, would you believe that my arm was temporarily glued to your cousin's shoulders?" Kiba joked as Neji clenched his fists.

Kiba gulped...

**SCENE CHANGE...**

"WHAT IS THIS?! HANG-KIBA-BY-HIS-UNDERWEAR-ON-A-TALL-THING DAY??!!!" Kiba asked as he was dangling by his underwear on a thether ball pole. "Okay Lee. Get a short ladder, a blanket, and some tongs." Shino told as Lee ran off to get said items.

**SCENE CHANGE...**

"I'm going to need surgery to get rid of that wedgie." Kiba said as he rubbed his gluteous maximus. "So, did you get that shot?????" Kiba asked desperately as Shino walked over to where he placed the camera to see it missing.

"It's gone." Shino said. "WHAT??!!! SHINO! THAT PRECIOUS PRECIOUS MOMENT THAT WAS THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE IS IN THAT CAMERA!!! WHAT KIND OF CRUEL CRUEL CRUEL PERSON WOULD DO THIS TO ME???!!! WHY KAMI??!!! WWWWWHHYYYYY?????!!!!!!!!!**" **Kiba screamed in Shino's ear.

"Great. Now I'm deaf." "This is such a cool camera!" "I"ll say (sniff) (sniff)" "Ooh! Ooh! Konohamaru! Film me!" Kiba dropped Shino as he ran towards the three pre-teens. "GIVE ME THAT CAMERA!!!" "No way jose! Finder keepers!" Konohamaru yelled as he possessively held on tight to the camera as he, Moegi, and Udon stuck out their tongues.

"Why you little!" Kiba yelled as he charged towards the three.

**SCENE CHANGE**

"That'll teach you brats." Kiba said to the three pre-teens who were tied to a tree. "AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! HELP US!" the three pre-teens screamed as two girls with two buns and the other had four pigtails came running towards Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon.

"HOW DARE YOU TIE UP THOSE POOR LITTLE KIDS!!!" "SOMEONE OUGHTA TEACH YOU A LESSON ABOUT PICKING ON KIDS SMALLER THAN YOU!!!" Tenten and Temari shouted as they chased after Kiba.

**SCENE CHANGE...**

"Thank you nice ladies!" the three pre-teens shouted as they ran off to play. "No problem! Tell us if this jerk gives you anymore problems!" Tenten shouted as she and Temari walked off.

"Kiba-kun! Are you alright?" Lee asked to Kiba who was buried in the sand. "MMPH, MMPH, (Spit) Just peachy!" Kiba sarcastically said as he spitted out some sand. "Well, at least you weren't hanging by your underwear." Shino pointed out as Kiba glared at him.

"Just get me out of here." Kiba commanded as Shino and Lee started to dig. "Please tell me that the kiss is still in the camera." Kiba pleaded as Shino went through the tape. "Those kids recorded over it." Shino said as Kiba's eye twitched.

"Kiba? Where are you going?" Shino asked as Kiba was walking towards the park's lake. "Kiba-kun? Kiba-kun!" Lee and Shino shouted as Kiba kept on walking towards the lake. "Oh come on Kiba-kun! It's not the end of world!" Lee shouted as he and Shino rushed over to Kiba before he would walk himself to the bottom of the lake.

**KIBA'S LIVING ROOM (A FEW DAYS LATER)**

"I give up. I can't think of anything else that'll make me look more cool. I might as well let my sister know how much a loser her little brother is. This video was a total waste of time." Kiba sighed in defeat as he slumped on his sofa.

"Not necessarily. I was able to win $10,000 when I submitted the video tape to America's Funniest Home Videos." Shino said as he counted his money.

"Shino...I hate you."

THE END

**A/N: Okay! I'm finally done! I hope you actually enjoyed reading it! Remember to review! Next chapter might be a love letter mishap, inspired from a certain show! Also, guess which show this episode plot was from! I bet you couldn't! Not in a million, billion, trillion years! Of course, you won't be living that long to guess.**


	6. Naruto's Birthday Gift

A/N: OMG! IT'S NARUTO BIRTHDAY! I should do something so I wrote this with him in the spotlight. I know I'm way way late. :'( Hope you all like it! 

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the songs listed in this fic or the plot.**

**Warning: OOCness and bad grammar. I think that's it. And maybe a little yaoi, incest, and a couple of pairings you don't like. And contents you might find disturbing.**

* * *

**NARUTO'S ADVENTURE...I COULN'T THINK OF A BETTER TITLE OKAY????!!!**

"Yahoo! That mission kicked ass! Did you see the way I kicked that guy's ass?! Let's do another one guys!" Naruto shouted as Team 7 came from another tiring mission. "No Naruto no more. It's best you all got some rest." Kakashi said as Sasuke and Sakura nodded in agreement.

"Oh come on you guys! Just one more! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepl-ACK!" Naruto said as he was punched to a wall. "NO NARUTO!" Sakura screamed. "We should get some rest. It's only wise." Sasuke said as he left. "Yes Sasuke-kun, you're right."

_'That's what I said.'_ Kakashi thought as he sweatdropped. "Well later Naruto. -POOF-" "Man, I don't want to go to sleep." Naruto groused as he kicked a rock and then walked home in a sulking manner. "PSST! Little boy. Come here."

"Huh? Me?" Naruto asked to the mysterious person in the dark alley as he pointed to himself. The mysterious person nodded as Naruto ran over to the mysterious person. "You like big adventures no?" the mysterious person asked.

"No, I like big adventures yes." Naruto replied.

"So, no, you no like big adventures."

"No, I meant that no, I like big adventures."

"So no?"

"Yes!"

"No?"

"No, I meant yes!"

"So n-"WILL YOU JUST FRIGGIN' TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT???!!!" Naruto interuppted.

"Okay, okay. See this necklace?" the mysterious person asked as the mysterious person whose gender will not be revealed having the author have to type the mysterious person over and over as long as the mysterious person is in the story pointed to a necklace that had a string holding a mini dream catcher as a necklace.

"Yes." Naruto replied. "Wear this necklace as you sleep and only then will the necklace's powers take you to an enchanted journey. But be warned, read the warning on top of the fic." The mysterious person warned.

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto said as he ran to his house, anxious to try out the magical necklace. wwwwwwwwhhhhhoooooooo **(A/N: Make a ghost like sound. Even though I know ghosts don't make that sound.) **Eh hem, moving on.

**NARUTO'S APARTMENT**

"Okay, necklace, make the magic happen." Naruto said as he went to a deep slumber.

**NARUTO'S DREAM **

"La la la la la la." Naruto sang as he was running through a meadow made of ramen. "Hey Naruto-kun!" Sakura shouted to him as she waved her arm. "Sakura-chan! Hold up! I'm coming!" Naruto shouted as he ran towards Sakura until the whole sky turned black.

"Huh? What's going on?" Naruto asked as he saw Sakura fading. "No! Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted as the meadow of ramen started to dissolve. "NO! MY MEADOW OF RAMEN! I didn't even taste it..." Naruto whimpered as he cried over the disappeared ramen. RRRUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE!!!!

"Hey! What's going on?!" Naruto asked as the whole ground shook so violently that Naruto fell down. Naruto picked himself up after the shaking stopped. As he dust himself off, -POP- came a...carrot. "Bleh! I hate carrots!" Naruto said as he scrunched his face in disgust. -POP- came a cabbage.

"Cabbage too." Naruto said. -POP- -POP- -POP- -POP- -POP- -POP- -POP-! Soon, the whole meadow was filled with vegetables. "I want ramen! I hate vegetables!" Naruto screamed as the vegetables started to growl. Soon, the vegetables were popping out with their own arms, eyes, and legs. "Eat us...eat us..." the vegetables chanted over again and again.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Naruto shouted as the vegetables climbed up his legs. "RASENGAN!" Naruto screamed as he destroyed the vegetables. "Hehheh." RRRRRRUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE!!! "**SO, YOU DON'T LIKE EATING VEGETABLES HUH?! WELL, HOW ABOUT VEGETABLES EATING YOU?!"** A giant brocoli shouted as he swallowed Naruto.

**"BLEH! He should taste himself if he thinks vegetables taste nasty."** The giant brocoli said as he spitted Naruto out. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Naruto screamed as he was soaring through the eternal darkness of his dream until...

-POOF- "OW!" Naruto said as he finally reached ground. "What a nightmare." Naruto said as he rubbed his head. "Huh? What am I doing out of my bed?" Naruto asked as he took in his surroundings to see him not in his bed. "Ah well, no problem, I'll just-AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Naruto screamed as he saw him sleeping on his bed.

"He can't be me! I'm me! But he looks like me because I'm me so if I'm me than he can't be me!" Naruto screamed. "Am I dead?" Naruto asked as he tried poking himself but he went through. Naruto swiftly took his hand back as if he touched fire.

"What's that thing floating from my head?" Naruto asked as he noticed the huge floating white cloud above him. "I better tell Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan, and Sasuke-teme about this." Naruto said as he started to run out of his house.

"Huh? A big floaty cloud is coming out of the academy too. I better go check it out." Naruto said as he ran towards the big cloud and slowed down. At first, Naruto poked the cloud and even tried touching the thing until he felt a force pulling him inside.

"Hey! Let go!" Naruto yelled at the cloud before he was fully engulfed into the fluffiness of the cloud. "Oof!" Naruto grunted as he finally landed in front of his old classroom door. Naruto got up, dusted himself, and opened the door to see Iruka and his new class with Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon in it.

"Okay class, can anyone tell me what is chakra?" Iruka asked the class. "Anyone at all?" "Psst...Iruka-sensei!" Naruto semi-whispered as Iruka turned his head to his former student.

"Naruto? Wait for a moment class." Iruka instructed as he left. "Naruto, what are you doing here?" Iruka asked. "Well, first, I saw me on my bed but it couldn't be me even though he looked like me and I know he isn't me because I'm me. So I went to get Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan, and Sasuke-teme until I saw a huge white cloud. I went to it and it sucked me in and that's how I ended up here."

Naruto finished as he panted for his short of breath. "Anything unusual happened before that happened?" Iruka asked. "Oh. And this weird mysterious person with bad grammar gave me a necklace." Naruto added.

"Naruto, I think that necklace is allowing you to enter dreams." Iruka said as he gathered the information. "OH THAT IS SO COOL! I CAN'T WAIT TO VISIT SASUKE-TEME, SAKURA-CHAN, KAKASHI-SENSEI, HINATA, KIBA, SH- "Naruto!" Iruka interupted.

"You just can't interupt on people's dreams like that. Now promise me that you won't get yourself in any dreams of _anyone_ okay?" Iruka scolded. "Yes, Iruka-sensei, I promise that I won't go into anyone's dreams." Naruto promised as he crossed his fingers behind his back.

"Good. Now you may go." Iruka smiled as Naruto ran off. Once Naruto was gone, Iruka's smile turned into a frown. "Oh, who am I kidding? I know that boy will get into trouble." Iruka said as he went back into the classroom just to have the kids laughing at him.

Iruka looked down to see him in nothing but his heart boxers. "Great, it's that dream again. Yeah, sure. Sure, laugh it up." Iruka said as the students kept on laughing and pointing.

**SAKURA'S HOUSE**

"Oh, I can't wait to try this out!" Naruto shouted as he jumped towards Sakura's dream cloud.

**SAKURA'S DREAM**

"Okay, first decree as Dictator of Konoha For Life I decree that everyone has to wear pink, Sasuke-kun has to have sex with me everynight, and that Ino is my slave for all eternity." Sakura said as she started to drag Sasuke on a chain. "Hi Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled as he waved.

"Naruto, why aren't you wearing pink?" Sakura asked. "I got this necklace and it gave me the power to visit dreams! HOW COOL IS THAT??!!!" Naruto said. "Wait, this is just a dream and Sakura's not really the DKFL? I'm out of here then." Sasuke said as he left.

"Naruto..." Sakura whispered dangerously. "It's okay. You still have me." Naruto reassured. -POW- "STAY OUT OF MY DREAM NARUTO!" Sakura screamed as Naruto was soaring out of Sakura's dream cloud and into another. -POOF-

**???????'S DREAM**

"AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-Oof!" "Hey!" Tenten said as Naruto bumped into her. "Sorry. Oh, Tenten, this is your dream." Naruto said. "Dream, what dream? I'm here to see HIM!" Tenten said as she had stars in her eyes.

"Huh? Who?" Naruto said. "Only the most coolest and hottest guy in the universe." Hinata said as she got of the crowd. "He is most youthful!" Lee said as he joined Hinata and Tenten. "Why don't you watch with us?" Hinata asked as she dragged him through the crowd.

Naruto saw that the crowd was just full of Lees, Hinatas, and Tentens. FFFFFFSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Was the sound coming from the stage as it feeled with smoke and the whole crowd screamed in delight.

"FINGER BANG!...BANG!...BANG! FINGER BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!-BANG!-BANG!" Neji sang as the smoke cleared. "I'm gonna finger bang-bang you into my life! Girl, you're like a finger bang and it's alright! Cause I'm the King of Finger Bang! BANG-BANG-FIGHT! I'm gonna finger bang-bang you every night!" Neji sang as the music started to softer.

"And girl, you know that you're the only girl for me. Girl. Girl. You're the only girl of my fantasies."

Tenten: "Neji, I want you!"  
Hinata: "I want your children!"  
Lee: "Me too!"

"Gggggggiiiiirllll...Finger bang! BANG! BANG! "I'm gonna leave..." Naruto said as he went out of the exit to see Neji in his bed. "Yeeeeessss...yyeeeessssss...I'm a star. I'm a star!" Neji sleep-talked. **(A/N: I don't own that song.)**"Huh? If Neji's here. Then Hinata's dream should be here too." Naruto said as he looked through the house for big floating clouds.

"Ah! There it is!" Naruto said as he jumped in to see Konoha in ruins. "Hinata?" Naruto asked in disbelief on what he was seeing Hinata dreaming. "Hey Naruto. Are you here to be slave?" Hanabi asked. "Oh, Hanabi, this is your dream. I was actually looking for your sister's dream." Naruto said.

"Oh. Well, she's just next door." Hanabi said. "Thanks! Bye!" -POOF- -POOF-

**HINATA'S DREAM**

"Huh? What am I doing here? Oh, hey Hinata!" Naruto as he noticed that he was upside down with Hinata's face close to his. "Hey Hinata, are you alright?" Naruto asked as he placed his hand on her forehead since her face was scarlet.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!" Hinata screamed as she headbutted Naruto, making him soar out of her dream.

**HINATA'S BEDROOM**

"Ah!" Hinata shouted as she awoken. "What a nightmare. I hope that doesn't happen. But my dreams usually come true. Like that time I dreamt that Kiba taught Akamaru to pee." Hinata said as she covered her face. **(A/N:O HINATA'S PSYCHIC!**)

"OW! OWOWOWOWOOWOW!" Naruto yelled as he clenched his bump. "You landed me in front of Sasuke's house." Naruto noticed once his pain subsided. "There's his dream!" Naruto shouted as he jumped in.

**SASUKE'S DREAM...**

"ITACHI! PREPARE TO DIE!" Sasuke shouted as he charged at his brother with his chidori only for Naruto to appear. "Naruto?!" Sasuke said as he bumped into Naruto causing for them both to trip, roll, and fall in front of Itachi.

Itachi smirked as he started to chuckle. "Itachi!" Sasuke said as he got up. RIP! Sasuke looked down to see his pants ripped, showing his boxers with tomatos on them. "AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAAHHA!!!" Itachi right out laughed until he died...of laughter.

**THE REAL WORLD...**

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Sasuke screamed as he awoke from his nightmare where he finally killed his brother... through his embarassment. "_Naruto..._" Sasuke whispered angrily as he clenched his blanket that had 'Mama's Baby Boy' printed all over it.

**KAKASHI'S PLACE...**

"I can't wait!" Naruto said anxiously as he entered his teacher's dream. "AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Oof!" Naruto said as he landed in a boat. "Kakashi-sensei! I didn't know you liked to fish." Naruto said.

"That's right Naruto. I fishing for Morby Porn! The newest icha icha novel in the sea. See! There he is!" Kakashi said as a huge orange novel jumped out and back in the ocean.

"Here." Kakashi said as he gave Naruto a huge bookcase. "When, I capture him, use the bookcase to capture him." Kakashi instructed when his fishing pole was tugging. "Oh, no you don't!" Kakashi said as he tug his hardest on the 'piece of literature' to bring it out of the sea.

"Naruto, get ready!" Kakashi said as he threw the book into the bookcase and Naruto closed the glass door. "I DID IT!" Kakashi yelled in delight. "Now to read i- NARUTOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU FORGOT TO LOCK THE DOOR!" Kakashi said as he saw an open bookcase.

"Oops..." Naruto said as Kakashi and him saw Morby Porn swimming away. "Naruto..." Kakashi whispered. "Uh, yeah? Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto trailed off, afraid of what his teacher would do to him. "THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!" Kakashi screamed. "NOT ANOTHER ONE!" Naruto screamed in pain and soared out of Kakashi's dream and into another.

-POOF-

"Oh, my a--...oh, hey Tenten!" Naruto greeted as he ran up to the brown haired girl. "Uh, do I know you?" Tenten asked. "Sure you do! I'm Naruto remember?" "Never heard of you." Tenten replied. "Never heard of me? I'm the main character of Naruto!"

"I never watched that show." Tenten replied. "Never watched it? You're in it! but not that much though..." Naruto told Tenten. "I'm the main character of Tenten though." Tenten said as Naruto gaped. _'Tenten? As a main character??!!!'_

"Oh! Wait! I get it! This is just a dream where you wish you were a main character." Naruto said as he nodded his head. Naruto opened his eyes to see Tenten far away. "Hey! Wait up!" Naruto yelled as he followed Tenten.

"Hi Hinata!" Naruto greeted as Tenten sat next to Hinata. "Who's he?" Hinata asked Tenten. "I don't remember." Tenten said. "Naruto!" Naruto yelled. "Nah. That's not it." Tenten said as the classroom shook.

"Hey! What's going on?" Naruto said. "Only the most obvious thing that happens everyday." Hinata replied. "GOAL!" Naruto turned his head to see Sasuke and Neji panting. "Ha! I win Chicken-Butt!" "In your dreams Nazi!" "Ggggggggggggrrrrrrrr...Ah!" "Hey wait!" Neji said as Sasuke started running towards Tenten.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked as he stood up only to be pushed away by Sasuke. "Out of way!" Sasuke yelled. "Oh, hey Tenten, is this seat taken?" Sasuke asked to the bun girl.

"No way! She's sitting next to me! Right Tenten?" Neji asked sweetly as he shoved Sasuke. "No way! I won Nazi!" "What are you talking about? My foot was at least one tenth centimeter farther than yours." Neji argued.

Lee: "I was here before either of you so I get to sit next to her!"

Gaara: "No, I get to!"

Shikamaru: "Ha! Yeah right! It's me!"

Soon, every boy in the classroom was fighting over who got to sit next to Tenten except Naruto. "Hey! How did I get on this desk?" Naruto asked as he noticed that he was in front of Tenten. "This is so familiar." Naruto said as he felt someone push him into Tenten.

_'Well at least it's a girl.'_ Naruto thought as his lips met Tenten. They soon broke apart. _'Wait...didn't I get beat up after I kissed someone?'_ Naruto said as he turned his head towards a bunch of angry boys. "Nnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaarrrrrrrruuuuuuuutooooo...you're so dead." Sasuke said. **INNER SASUKE: I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE TENTEN-CHAN'S FIRST KISS! NARUTO'S GOING TO PAY FOR THIS! CHA!**

"I'm outta here!" Naruto yelled as he ran with a mob of boys after him. -POOF- "I thought I was a goner." Naruto said as he panted heavily. "Okay, who's next?"

**INO'S DREAM**

"As Dictator of Konoha for Life, I declare that everyone should wear purple-"-POOF- Naruto: "Does every girl want to rule the world?" **(A/N: Yes. :P )**

**SHIKAMARU'S DREAM**

Naruto: Well, where's your dream? Shikamaru: Dreams are too troublesome. -POOF-

**CHOJI'S DREAM**

Choji: "My friends sure were tasty!" Naruto: O.O -POOF-

**TSUNADE'S DREAM**

"7...7...7!!! YES I WON! I WON!" Tsunade shouted in glee as the slot machine was pouring coins like a waterfall. Naruto: Too bad it's just a dream. Tsunade: Did you HAVE to ruin my good mood?! Naruto: Uh-oh. -POOF-

Tsunade: I knew it was too good to be true.

**SHINO'S DREAM**

Gai: "GO SHINO! RUN OFF TO THE SUNSET! AND DON'T FORGET TO DO 500 LAPS AROUND KONOHA!" Shino: 'YES GAI-SENSEI!" Naruto: SHINO! OO

Shino: GAI-SENSEI!

Gai: SHINO!

Shino: GAI-SENSEI!

Naruto: I'm outta here. -POOF-

**LEE'S DREAM**

"This seems like a very nice specimen." Lee said as he held a beetle of some sort of his finger. "What do you think Hinata?" Lee asked. "Whatever you say Lee. You're always correct unlike Kiba. You're so much better." Hinata replied. Shino: "Damn straight."

Naruto: I think someones' dreams got switched. -POOF-

**KIBA'S DREAM**

"Why are you a Poochyena? And I'm a Vulpix." Naruto asked. "It's pretty obvious on why you're a Vulpix. Nine Tails remember? And I have a feeling that a fic involving Pokemon is coming our way." Kiba said. "Aw man, I hate those! They better not make Kabuto Kabuto. That's way too obvious. Well, later! -POOF-

Kiba: Later!

**NARUTO'S APARTMENT**

"Well, that was fun." Naruto said as he went into his own dream cloud. _"Naruto...Naruto...Naruto..." "_Huh? Who's there? Go Away!" Naruto shouted as he hid under his covers.

"No...no...no..." "NARUTO!" "NO!" Naruto shouted as he awoke. "Hey! What are you guys doing here?" Naruto asked as he saw all his friends. "We came here to tell you to STAY OUT OF OUR DREAMS!!!" "We already get enough of you during the day." Sasuke said as everyone agreed.

Naruto: Since we're already here and all, want to have a slumber party?

Everyone: Okay.

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N: Okay I know this sucked but at least I got Naruto a present. It's the thought that matters right?**

**Naruto: No, good presents matter in birthdays.**

**Me:'( Please review!**


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